Hi everyone, this is Janna, Bri's longtime comrade and best friend. (And, as Bri insists, cousin-in-law). I would like to take the time to present a portion of a story I wrote back in 12th grade. The entire thing is inspired from the collage of pictures that was on my Government binder. Enjoy.
I want to be a detective, and I've had this dream since I was about five years old. So when my best friend Brett and I discovered the Gandalf cutout was missing from the back of Brett's car and we found some mysterious puddles by the hedges in the parking spot next to ours at the community college we attend, I felt it was my duty to investigate.
To start off, I sat in Brett's car, contemplating while listening to my favorite band. I also changed clothes--a good detective never wears the same outfit she wore to the crime scene while she's investigating. I may be tough but I also have a sense of fashion, not to mention sheer dignity.
Contemplation complete, I decided I would take my inquiries to someone who knows everything about puddles. Which, I guess, makes him either a Wonder Twin, a meteorologist, or Jesus, and I'm betting on the latter seeing as how he works at a Christian bookstore. Plus he's got the whole beard thing going on.
"What can I do for Jen and Brett today?" he asked as Brett and I walked into the store. We were careful to duck under the traffic counter. I mean, neither of us had intentions of buying anything. Money doesn't grow on trees after all, and furthermore I don't have an official job as of yet.
"I'm glad you asked, Matthew," I replied, perching myself on the 50% off table. "See, this morning our class was cancelled and when we came back to the parking lot, we noticed that the Gandalf cutout had disappeared from the back of Brett's car."
"Whoa," Matthew said, "Gandalf's gone? Dude, he was always like a third passenger or something. Man, that Gandalf cutout was--"
I cut him off. "Anyway," I continued, "we noticed some puddles of water in the parking space next to ours... right in front of the hedges that lead to the woods."
"Puddles..." Matthew said thoughtfully. "It's a sunny day outside. That's odd."
"Exactly," I replied. "So what do you think it means?"
"How should I know?" he exclaimed. "I mean, I'm not Jesus."
With that, I jumped off the 50% off table. "Thanks for nothing, Matthew," I said. "We'll just be on our way now. Come on, Brett." We walked out the door. This time I didn't duck under the traffic counter.
"That was a waste of precious time," Brett said. "We could've been searching for Gandalf!" He got a wistful look in his eye and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Brett is definitely the biggest nerd I've ever known. Quite frankly, I wasn't too concerned about the Gandalf cutout. I just wanted to figure out how it disappeared from Brett's car when the doors were locked.
"The next step we must take is drastic," I told Brett, whose eyes were filling with tears. Oh jeez I thought to myself. I gotta keep him occupied.
"What's next?" he wanted to know.
"Okay," I started. "We're going to New York."
A couple of hours later (yes, I said a couple-- good detectives always have connections) Brett and I were walking into NBC studios, onto the set where Late Night with Conan O'Brien is filmed.
"We're going to get advice from Conan?" Brett asked incredulously.
"Not advice, Brett. He's going to give us answers."
"How is he gonna know about the disappearance of our Gandalf cutout??"
"Your cutout," I corrected him. "And he's not exactly going to know, but he'll lead us in the right direction." I had just seated myself on top of Conan's desk when he walked into the studio.
"Fans!" he exclaimed. "It's about time I got some of those!"
To start off, I sat in Brett's car, contemplating while listening to my favorite band. I also changed clothes--a good detective never wears the same outfit she wore to the crime scene while she's investigating. I may be tough but I also have a sense of fashion, not to mention sheer dignity.
Contemplation complete, I decided I would take my inquiries to someone who knows everything about puddles. Which, I guess, makes him either a Wonder Twin, a meteorologist, or Jesus, and I'm betting on the latter seeing as how he works at a Christian bookstore. Plus he's got the whole beard thing going on.
"What can I do for Jen and Brett today?" he asked as Brett and I walked into the store. We were careful to duck under the traffic counter. I mean, neither of us had intentions of buying anything. Money doesn't grow on trees after all, and furthermore I don't have an official job as of yet.
"I'm glad you asked, Matthew," I replied, perching myself on the 50% off table. "See, this morning our class was cancelled and when we came back to the parking lot, we noticed that the Gandalf cutout had disappeared from the back of Brett's car."
"Whoa," Matthew said, "Gandalf's gone? Dude, he was always like a third passenger or something. Man, that Gandalf cutout was--"
I cut him off. "Anyway," I continued, "we noticed some puddles of water in the parking space next to ours... right in front of the hedges that lead to the woods."
"Puddles..." Matthew said thoughtfully. "It's a sunny day outside. That's odd."
"Exactly," I replied. "So what do you think it means?"
"How should I know?" he exclaimed. "I mean, I'm not Jesus."
With that, I jumped off the 50% off table. "Thanks for nothing, Matthew," I said. "We'll just be on our way now. Come on, Brett." We walked out the door. This time I didn't duck under the traffic counter.
"That was a waste of precious time," Brett said. "We could've been searching for Gandalf!" He got a wistful look in his eye and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Brett is definitely the biggest nerd I've ever known. Quite frankly, I wasn't too concerned about the Gandalf cutout. I just wanted to figure out how it disappeared from Brett's car when the doors were locked.
"The next step we must take is drastic," I told Brett, whose eyes were filling with tears. Oh jeez I thought to myself. I gotta keep him occupied.
"What's next?" he wanted to know.
"Okay," I started. "We're going to New York."
A couple of hours later (yes, I said a couple-- good detectives always have connections) Brett and I were walking into NBC studios, onto the set where Late Night with Conan O'Brien is filmed.
"We're going to get advice from Conan?" Brett asked incredulously.
"Not advice, Brett. He's going to give us answers."
"How is he gonna know about the disappearance of our Gandalf cutout??"
"Your cutout," I corrected him. "And he's not exactly going to know, but he'll lead us in the right direction." I had just seated myself on top of Conan's desk when he walked into the studio.
"Fans!" he exclaimed. "It's about time I got some of those!"
